Why?

There was one bad apple that fell from the tree

from the time the seed was formed,

from Flora trying to fertilize its roots

its life was torn

the sun only shined on the other side

and there was no water left to absorb

it caused the immature life to cripple

as the roots begin to mourn

the apple persisted to grow

and released its hormones in a final attempt

then rotted on the last vine of the wilting tree

roots decayed into mother earth’s final plea

to be reborn

(2019, Shani)

Stranded

I remember the light

That once filled us up with joy

We didn’t notice it at first

Till we climbed the tree with coconuts

Our sadness erased

 

We marveled at blue

And were welcomed by the light

Ready for our bodies to be erased

Longing for the joy

To fill us after the famine of coconuts

There was it

 

There was it

Our arms out to hug the blue

Bodies empty like the coconuts

Dried up from the white light

But there was a strange joy

There was a longing to be erased

 

We seen the bodies of the past erased

The massacre of it

And all I could feel was joy

To be also mixed in with the blue

As time went darkness to light

The hell had no more coconuts

 

Our bodies meatless like coconuts

Every reason for life erased

Skins tortured by the light

And our minds were drugged by it

Just one dance with the blue

I longed for the joy

 

Desperate for the final joy

Our minds useless like the empty coconuts

Washed up at the line of the blue

Is it time to be erased?

I smile just at the thought of it

While looking up at the lights

 

As the light dimmed once again we walked passed the washed up coconuts

The joy came rushing to my feet as I watched the beauty of it

We were finally erased by the beautiful blue

(2018, Shani)

Testimony

What does it mean to be cherished for a lifetime to come?

She gave into the passion that rose through each layer of skin

Her heart finally fulfilled

In their matrimony.

 

I watched a smile creep on her face

The embrace of her trembling body

Her hands up to the heavens as she gasped for air

A climatic spectacle.

 

I witnessed her cries of pleasure that peaked

There was an awakening that came burning within

Her eyes rolled back as she collapsed to the floor

While the noises of pleasure continued around her

 

There it was consummated and it was good

Her devotion for a lifetime to come

Gave up to the passion that is embedded in her bones

The fruits of the Holy Spirit.

(2018, Shani)

 

my biggest regret

From stomach butterflies and warm summer evenings

body heat dripping sweat of lust and infatuation, excitement of a sexual connection
to winter dark skies and cold sleepless nights
memories of you grow deeper in the midnight hour
and as I suffocate myself under thick blankets
crying is the only temporary relief
you are my biggest regret
I’ve become scared of me
I’ve become impatient
my bitter heart is in the way of my sanity
stopping at dead end loves n one way affections is going to be the death of me
and missing connections
But I connected with you
though short lived I shared with you
I cared for you

I have one question for you…

How do you move on?

(2014, Shani)

Rose colored glasses

Separate her body from reality 

In this dimly lit room
She’ll drink your wine 
And let her mind die
While her heart swells inside
You could do no harm 
Through these rose colored glasses 
Your warm hues intice her like pheromones 
You’re magic through smoke screens
surreal like a dream 
A mere pixilation of the perfect fantasy 
She said you could do no harm 
Like a mantra in her head 
You could do no harm 
You could do no har
You could do no ha
You could do no h
You could do no
You could do n 
You could do…
5 years it took 
Enough to shatter them rose colored glasses 
will take a life time to fix
Like a 50 year old fiend
Weakened by the memory of…
 (2015, Shani)

Changes Remain

Time flies and as you experienced every emotion imaginable, he’s engraved in your head

everyday of the week
every scenario
you could see him looking deep into you when you close your eyes and it almost makes you feel half crazy half disappointed because you know
everyone knows you could do better
You force fed the thought that it will never work between you and him
and in time the feelings became diluted to the point where you could look him dead in his eyes and not even feel a flutter deep in your gut as you used to
yet you still think of him
any day of the week
night or day
with no feelings attached, its like he’s here to stay
bitter,
indignant,
upset,
sorrowful,
lighthearted,
tranquil,
passionate,
and more of which as it seems he’d be there to stay
yet still at the end of it all
it’s not your turn to take the fall so remain where you’re at
mindful of what remains never be willing to make the change

And Just As the Seasons Changed…

My feelings for this guy are non existent
As simple as the flowers began to bloom on the trees
I’m beginning to allow the love for myself to bloom once again
And I can look and smile at him with no restriction in my chest
I can to talk to him like I talk to everyone else
I’m free to the hopes of someone else
Instead of being confined in a prison that I made personally for myself
The torture I felt just the other day

Vent 001

I wish I never knew him.

Clouding my vision
Wondering if Ill ever reach clarity
From these feelings I loathe inside of me
Some days are easier than others
Fridays are the hardest
Impatiently waiting for someone to steal his spot
Someone who looks better and treats me right
As if I hate him for existing
I hate me for allowing him to exist
Unsure of what has taken over me
When I see her pretty little face down the hallway
I give her a deep stare knowing what she’s done
Jealousy bubbles up inside me

Definition

Pretty, ugly.

Categorically defined by beauty
From the masses of nobody’s who can’t seem to even grasp the true concept of what beauty is
My beauty isn’t confined within the lines
My beauty runs free from the lies
Recognize this pretty, ugly
For it is the true beauty that the masses fail recognize
It is the truth in which I console deep within me
The beauty is in my energy that electrifies through my veins and released to those who know
Those who are open to me and accept this
Rare undefined beauty…
Shani Davis.

Men and Their Expectations

Let me show you how real I am 
Let me reveal to you the insecurities in which I dwell deep in
Let me prove to you that my true self is still beautiful
Without out the makeup, the fake hair, the fancy clothes
Let me make you smile with my laughter
Let me make you warm with my touch
Let me prove to you there’s still good in this world
Only if you accept me for who I am
Let me help you believe in yourself
Only if you lift me up from the insecurities in which I dwell deep in
Let me love you unconditionally
Only if you love me unconditionally.
Shani Davis

Sex Has Ruined My Life

Nude pics

Dirty flicks
Infatuation

Second nature

Caught up in the now hoping for forever lasting moments
But i should have took a picture
Love is meant to be broken
Fill the void fill the void
You’re meant to be broken
Kill the noise in your head
As i lie in their bed comforted by lies
Their lying eyes distance them self from mine
Cold eyes in contrast from their hot body
Dripping cool sweat in the pores of my skin
Drowning in their lies
I’m drowning.

Dancing in the Dark

I’m in love with this part of you
Give me your all when the sun goes down
I’ve found reason in you
Even though you’re you is never around
what we have is taboo
But it satisfies me in a foreign way
And you don’t degrade
You serenade me, you dance with me
So when the moon shines you can find me
Dripping in anticipation – excitement, waiting for you – hungry
for you to walk pass me with that look in your eyes
watching me – hungry
There’s a magnetic force that molds our bodies into one
A feeling so surreal, I’m hooked
I’m addicted to dancing in the dark with you