Mr. Washington

There’s a pattern in my life with men; once there’s a new guy in the picture the last one is dead. No disrespect though, I’m just monogamous by nature. So new guy in the picture is Denzel, at first, I didn’t believe it but yes his name is Denzel and he is a panty dropper! Just imagine a 6″1 quarterback build football player with locs to his shoulders, full pink lips and smooth deep brown skin. He’s the ultimate sports and fitness man; he’s actually going to help me reach my fitness goals this fall. I haven’t met him yet but I’ve been talking to him every day, anticipating for him to turn me off but I must say I’m pretty impressed with myself for snagging such a catch on the infamous Plenty of Fish dating site. He’s surprisingly really sweet and texts me good morning every morning, and his words are always heart warming. Sometimes I feel it’s a little too nice, for instance he’ll say “sorry, I call you back yesterday, I was busy” and I eventually had to tell him that he doesn’t have to apologize every time he doesn’t get back to me, “I know you’ll make time for me when you have the opportunity”. He understood but I then realized that that could actually be his nature to apologize for doing something he said he would do. Then my insides fluttered uncontrollably…

Hearing him say those words to describe me so positively almost feels foreign to me, sometimes I giggle and my eyebrows furrow not knowing what to say. I’m just not used to that type of affection but he’s a Denzel for sure, a real catch…so far. I hate to be pessimistic but I’m expecting him to be something that I’ll one day despise. I expect him to grow tired, or used to and show his true character. Maybe he’s going to be clingy, maybe he gets jealous easily, maybe he’s a sweet talker and does the same to a bunch of other women; the possibilities go on forever in my head. But the main one that sticks out is the fact that he could be gay (or just bi). I hate myself for conjuring up such a thing in my mind as if only the respectable, sweet men of the world just so happen to be gay. From my personal experiences, I’ve dated a man who was gay (but not out the closet) and he was the most respectful guy I’ve ever dated. All in all, I don’t have high hopes for anyone I’m interested in. My expectations shrunk so small for men when they screw up or disappoint, I feel no sense of loss and I’m not afraid of love, there’s just no sense to love because I feel like that part of me is on hold. But if there is a possibility him and I get serious I have a plan that I’m going to stick with, and it’s very simple

         Don’t have sex with him for 90 days

I know it’ll be difficult but if I want to ensure my time won’t be wasted, I have to follow through as long with my rule that I broke a while back and that is to never go to a guys house especially at
night. I will not break these two rules. Another set of rules that I’ve added t(thanks to this book I read called Fly Betty by Treasure Blue) is the following…

“1. Never love a man who doesn’t love you back

2. Never give a man who won’t give back

3. Never try to keep a man who doesn’t want to stay

4. Never cry over a man who wont cry over you

5. Every man got to know from the very beginning if they should ever disrespect or violate you for any reason they must know you would not hesitate to leave without looking back”

Whatever the outcome, I’m going to enjoy the now because it’s too sweet to rush into things. Right now, it feels good to be respected and adored truly.

– I think he might be the one who brings me flowers…

I will be starting a series of book reviews based on love starting in September! Nothing is better than a book that inspires!

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Tinder – Online Dating? Or Hookup

If you haven’t heard of Tinder it’s a straight forward dating app where you can meet people in your area. You don’t have to write a 50 word about me or explain your work/life status.
All you do is swipe left for nope, swipe right for liked and if the feeling is mutual you get to chat with them. The best part is that it’s 100% free.

Aside from the great features, I’ve been using Tinder for a month now and I’ve come to a few conclusions.

1. Guys (and girls) are on there for an easy hookup or are bored.
2. Guys who aren’t patient with you are the jerks you want to stay away from.
3. Online dating is not for those who are looking for something steady unless you’re spending $100 dollars for a subscription on e-harmony. (Which ultimately is a waste of time and money because you’ve never found your match)

Finding love on a dating site is officially an urban myth for me because I believe that a lot of us hope to meet that special guy or girl the old fashion way whether we realize it or not. It makes sense why every guy I’ve dated from the internet never got past a date or a hook-up because even I wasn’t looking for anything serious. Now that I am, online dating just won’t do. The responses I got from a mutual interest are “I have a hot tub all that is missing is you” or even worse “turn around I wanna Tinder you from behind.”

…I want to Tinder you from behind?!

I asked him why would he say such a thing and he apologized and said he was trying a new approach (possibly to get laid) but what was more interesting is that he’s from London and is visiting America. So there you have it. Tinder is the gateway to worldwide access to free sex with willing men and women.

Being on Tinder has been a huge disappointment so far talking to men who don’t show the slightest interest in me. After 3 days of conversation, it just stops. How do you separate a good guy from a jerk? Time.

I honestly believe that the term online dating should be changed to online hookup.