I saw him today. Whenever were in the car together he squeezes my thigh and looks at me like he’s ready for me. He watched my chest rise and fall as I took a deep breath and glanced at him through my glasses. He knew what he was doing, and hes so good at it. I was driving in the fast lane. “You’re scaring me,” I said, he replied “you’re scaring me, because you’re breaking too hard.” I didn’t know what to say so he continued to say how he was in a car accident where the damage was so bad he was amazed he was still alive. My heart dropped at the thought of not knowing him then I felt so whole knowing he was right next to me. I dropped him downtown on my way to pick up my mom and the thought of him led to this orgasmic moment I had by myself. Yes I believed I had an orgasm in the car while rocket by beyonce was playing the background. It’s funny because sometimes I wonder what his deal is, that maybe he isn’t a good guy. Has anybody made me feel this infatuated? Hell no. Do I feel like I’m going mad? Hell yes.

I’m aware of my emotions but what I’m so confused about is why or how do I feel what I feel. He hasn’t showed me any reason to like him as much as I do, I barley know the guy.

So I play this game. It’s hard because playing games is not in my DNA. By now I would have told him how I felt if he doesn’t feel the same I’d move on soon enough. Am I in love with the attention that he gives me or am I really falling for him. From fear to infatuation…


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