Brain On Relationships

What Are These Feelings?

I’m really trying to understand this. I still harbor feelings in the pit of my stomach for this guy I haven’t seen in 5 years.

Every time I see his face on my Facebook page, I feel like the old me. An 18-year-old bright-eyed wonder, young and naive, falling head over heels for this guy who had no clue I existed. It’s a little glimpse of the light I had in my heart and the innocence that was still a part of my being at that moment. He was the first guy I ever liked in college. When he would walk on campus alone he always looked serious and paranoid. But when he was with his friends I’d get to see his smile; it was radiant. I’m not sure why but he reminds me of Obama. My friend and I did whatever it took to get to know him and we did eventually, but it didn’t get far. I was then on a fast track down a path of darkness with another guy who gave me the attention I wanted from the guy I adored. I always wondered what he could’ve been. I was so wide open but dreams turn into reality every time. Goes to show interest, attraction, and love is never even; I wasn’t in his league. I was an 18-year-old virgin with no sex appeal. He was into hot chicks with tattoos and huge boobs I supposed. Guess it’s safe to say that now he’s not in mine. Things have changed but I’ll always hold on to those memories.

 

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