Just testing out my story writing juices…first story I ever wrote that felt finished although I can keep going. I’m open to constructive criticism! Please comment below if you have any.
Look at him over there
His milk chocolate skin smooth like butter
His eyes as if he’s undercover
His lips are pure sexual
His beard all masculine
To match his statue of a perfect strong body
Everything flows and glows as he’s playing basketball in the sun
As if he was specially made from God
To make all the girls swoon in the park
And then he smiles
that man’s smile is the smile of a future of happiness marriage and beautiful kids with him
as I daydream in the midst of his presence
a basketball knocks me cold and I fall to the ground
A crowd of people swarms around me in panic
“Someone call 911!”
A man picks me up and rests me on the bench.
“She’s still alive people, just unconscious.”
He grabs some water and gets a rag from his duffle bag to help the bruise on the side of my face.
Mins passed …
“She’s awake shhh!” Some random woman says.
Frightened I jumped up and looked around for my things.
“Shows over people, thank you!” I take a bow and grab my purse and bag from the ground.
The area cleared except for the guy who saved me. I picked up the rag from the ground that was on my face and walked up to his back who was in the middle of a conversation with his friend.
“I believe this belongs to y…”
He turns around quickly and his eyes grew wild.
“I’m so sorry my friend can’t play for shit! the ball hit the rim and flew straight to you’re ..are you ok?”
I looked in his eyes so amazed at how beautiful up close he looked. He must have been 6’4? What a beautiful chocolate man I thought to myself.
“Yo, what did you say?” His friend said laughing in amazement.
“What? I didn’t say anything,” confused and embarrassed that I might have thought out loud. I handed him his rag. “Thank you,” I said stiffly and walked away mumbling to myself.
“I’m sorry!” The man’s friend yelled out to me.
What? no, she’s gotta go to the hospital. She was just knocked out.
“Hold up!” I shouted out, I ran to catch up to her. “You gotta go to the hospital to make sure everything is legit they should be here any second.”
“I feel fine.” She lies rubbing her scratched up elbow as she keeps walking to the entrance of the park.
Embarrassment and physical pain don’t mix and I could tell she didn’t want to be seen in the park especially by me any longer. “Okay I can see you need help, you have to at least get checked out it shouldn’t take that long.”
The ambulance sirens were growing louder and as we reached the front entrance the ambulance was already there. An EMT lady stepped out and approached the two.
“Hey yes she was knocked out for 3 mins from a basketball, she claims she’s okay now but it’s always good to get checked out right?”
“Yes of course, always!” The lady replied, “We’ve had many cases where people died from internal bleeding after a concussion.”
She lets out a huge dramatic sigh,
“Okay I’ll go, I don’t want to die.” She looks up at me. “Thanks.”
“Yeah no problem, next time don’t daydream in the park.” I smile at her. She rolls her eyes and hops in the back of the ambulance.”
I step closer to her, “what’s your name?” I ask her.
“It’s Nerissa.” She smiles warily and she asks the EMT lady if she can sit in the front with her since she’s not dying yet. I got stuck in my head wondering if I’d ever see her again to know if she’s okay, I mean I felt responsible even though my brother did it.
“Umm hello, I’m leaving now it was nice to meet you…,”
“Oh Corey, my name is Corey.”
“Okay bye Corey, thanks again.” she waves bye hops in the front of the ambulance and drives away.
I probably won’t see her again
She’s was so beautiful when I saw her by the tree earlier today
Her legs long, brown and smooth like butter
Her eyes deep and exotic
Her lips looked like a fantasy
Her smile all magical
To match her long curvy body
Everything on her glowed and flowed as she stood there looking around enjoying life in the sun
As if she was specifically made to perfection in God’s image
To be admired by all the men who stared at her in the park today
And her laugh
That girl’s laugh was the laugh of a future of love marriage and beautiful kids with her
As I stand there watching the ambulance disappear, my brother came up to me.
“You should’ve got her number bro.”