It’s become one of those unwritten rules where when you’re young you’re supposed to be wild. If you don’t then you’re unaccepted and a lot of youth feed into that lifestyle. Luckily I was never the type to be interested but for some reason, it sucked me in. The heat, parties, hormones, boredom, liquor and or drugs were the perfect mix for getting laid every night in the summer. Here I was the girl from Cali looking out of a window of sexual tension between the sexes at hotel and house parties in the DMV.
It was the summer of 2011. I hung out with my friend (let’s call him) Jay and his guy friends. It was the first time I got to witness the other side of the playing field. Here I was a part of this crew of guys and I watched Jay and his friends scope out the room looking for potential girls. We’d grab a beer and walk to a spot where we can sit and chill. I’d overhear Jay talk to one of his friends about a girl with the long weave and leggings or the short girl with the red hair. “Bruh, she’s bad.” For the whole night, they would try to pursue the one girl they’re interested in. If the girl was cold they would move on to someone else, simple. Sometimes they would leave with a number, or leave with the girl. I used to sit back and watch them work their magic whispering in their ear, making them giggle and handing them beers. The objective was having sex by the end of the night.
The dynamic was the same for me and guys I didn’t know at the parties we went to. At one party there was a guy I was eyeing, I didn’t know why. I wasn’t attracted to him but I felt him trying to make himself noticed by me but he wouldn’t make any eye contact with me, it was strange but I knew what was up. Time passed and I was drunk laughing at everyone singing karaoke and dancing. I soon forgot about the random til Jay told me to come outside with him. I followed him out to the dark garage where the crew was standing in the driveway smoking a doobie. The same guy I was eyeing was there, I looked at all of them and they exchanged looks with each other. Jay reintroduced me to him and then I remembered this guy at an apartment complex we went to one day, he was their weed guy. I was immediately uninterested but too drunk to express it. We hugged and flirted in the front of the house all night. He thought he was going to get it. The party died down and we left to go to Mcdonalds. Long story short we all went home alone. Dude was a hot mess around police and accused me of almost getting him arrested at the Mcdonalds when nobody was even in trouble. Come to find out he had an ankle monitor on and was paranoid. He had no chance, though, I was celibate at the time.
Begin Rant\ When I look back at those moments I really wish this type of mentality would end. There’s nothing wrong with dating but why do we have to be sexual savages? Why do we have to wait til we’re old to settle down? Why do we get sucked into these stereotypes? One thing that I hate is that when I’m talking to a guy he says he’s not looking for a relationship. Okay but a friendship is a relationship, so basically you’re looking for someone to use. I learned that those type of people are simply interested in something temporary for their benefit and use that statement as a disguise for their dirty savage ways. Guys I’ve talked to ask for a nude before they ask me for my name. They ask me to come over before they ask me on a date. They don’t call back after they get what they want. Since when was it a sign of masculinity to hurt a girl’s feelings. Since when was it important to show off to your boys that you got some pussy? Where did the young (black) men who aren’t afraid of commitment go? /End Rant